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SEC World Cup Personalities: East

July 14, 2010
    Role Player already got the West.  So I got stuck with the much more shyte SEC East.  Without further ado, the teams:

    Florida-Hmmm, lets see… really good, semi-obnoxious color scheme, full of bandwagon fans and bandwagon haters, larger than life personalities. Yep, this one is obvious. Florida is Brazil. In most years, Florida is always a “favorite” before the season starts. In most tournaments, Brazil is a favorite before it starts. I also find it interesting the parallels in the god like personalities for both teams. Almost every soccer fan in the world knows who Pele is (and most can identify him). I would venture to guess that there is almost no one (save Maradona) who does not like Pele. Ronaldinho (or his namesake, fat Ronaldo) are also both worldwide known, fully-worshiped or fully-hated personalities. For most people, there is no middle ground for these two. They are either fully-loved and defended to the death, or are loathed with every ounce of a person’s being. The same can be said for the Ol’ Ball Coach Steve Spurrier (loved) and Tim Tebow (loved or hated).

    Vanderbilt– The other easy team for me. This is the team in the SEC that people overlook, and quite frankly, forget about. This is a school that does not even have an athletic department (it’s true, look it up). Everyone in the SEC wants to beat Vanderbilt (who wants to lose to a bunch of nerds?), but no one wants to see Vanderbilt lose when they are not playing them. New Zealand is the same way. Everyone just wants to pat them on the head and say “awwww, how cute”. When they are playing “your team” you don’t want them to win, but when they are playing anyone else you find yourself rooting for them. Plus, many of the “All-Whites” do not even play professional football (there is not a league in NZ).

    Kentucky– This one was a bit tricky at first, but became pretty obvious in the end. As far as the region that houses the SEC institutions is concerned, they are the “world” and the only thing that matters is (American) football. In real life, the only sport that matters to the rest of the actual “world” is also football. However, no one in Kentucky land cares about Big Blue football, instead saving their energy for one of the most successful basketball programs around. In Japan, football is starting to come around, but it is still secondary to a sport that the rest of the world cares little about, baseball. Also, they are both blue. And ninjas… well, maybe not Kentucky.

    Tennessee– Loud, obnoxious fans? Check. Hated outside of their core fan bases? Check. Usually good enough to beat whoever they play? Check. Win enough to always be relevant? Check. Mountains? Check. Provide the world with excellent culinary aspects? Check. I mean, who doesn’t love Whiskey and Pasta. Italy and Tennessee have more than enough links for this exercise.

    South Carolina- This is a team that never seems to live up to expectations, really, in any sport. They are usually fun to watch, generally liked, and they are pretty much beloved by EVERYONE in their state (I mean, really, Clemson? yeah, right!). The first team that came to mind that was fun to watch, generally liked by everyone outside of the country, and (until recently) failed to live up to expectations. That country is Spain. I realize that Spain has recently won the European Championship (S.C. won the NIT a few years ago…) and that they are World Cup champions, but still, throughout history, they have not lived up to hype.

    Georgia– Aside from Ray Charles and peaches, has Georgia really ever given us anything useful? The lovers of the fighting UGA’s would argue. Aside from great beer and good cars, I am not sure what Germany has ever provided to the world. Both teams are very systematic, usually fairly disciplined, boring to watch, and I hate them both. If neither ever won another game, it wouldn’t bother me in the least.

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