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SEC World Cup Personalities: West

July 14, 2010
    Writing for this blog has been fun, but frankly, I’m much more of a soccer player, fan and coach than I am a writer – most of us are, given the amount of content posted. So that being understood, while enjoying the beer, burgers, brats and fixins of our great nation’s Independence Day, Fergie’s Fledgling and I decided to take on a challenge set before us by a fellow bloggeur, One Man to Beat, over at Red Cup Rebellion. (I know that was over a week ago. See the first sentence.) We are going to play an association game whereby we discuss the personalities of the 12 SEC schools using the squads from the World Cup 2010. I’ve got the West, and given that our group of bloggeurs consists entirely of Rebel fans, we’ll start with…

    Ole Miss – Over 45 years since its last championship, the Rebels instead must resort to priding themselves on their pin-up boys, the Mannings. It fits that they would best match Uruguay, the winner of the 1930 and 1950 World Cups, which until this year had them as the only former champion to be outperformed by the US since then. They do have the beautiful flowing locks of Diego Forlan though.

    Auburn – Remember the 13-0 Tigers of Tuberville? Some say that might have been the best team never to win compete for a championship. Their match is the Oranje of the Netherlands, home to the Total Football movement that won many a championship for the Ajax, but was undone by the host Germans in the 1974 World Cup final and the host Argentinians in the final four years later. Since then, the Dutch have continued to field some of the best teams never to win a World Cup. Did I mention that they were in the final this year…and lost?

    Arkansas – A team that consistently gives up and is home to head coaching headaches, the Razorbacks match is France. Les Bleus just learned what it is like to send the worst head coach to the World Cup as player mutiny and national displeasure led French supporters to cheer against them. Naturally, they surrendered. Few (not I) like the Razorbacks and few like love the French. The difference is that the French have won a World Cup and will probably get their swagger back in the near future.

    Alabama – You either love them or you hate them, but there is no denying their talent and their mythical coach, Lord Saban. The Tide’s match is Argentina, winners of two World Cups and coached this year by the imfamous, Diego Maradona, who like Saban is known just as much for his illegal exploits as he is for his sporting legend. Saban just hasn’t been caught with his nose on the crack line yet.

    Mississippi State – Damn cowbells and illiterate, racist fans get under my skin. So The School From Which Cardinal Directions Apparently Originate gets matched with South Africa. Clang-a-langa!! Brrerrrerrrerrr!! Generally, no one cares about either of these teams. ┬áSouth Africans can dance though.

    LSU – Hate is a must when it comes to the tigers from smelly, old, corndog Louisiana, and it is no different with Mexico. These two are the best match of the lot. Not only are they the object of much hate, but also they are home to some of the worst fans you will ever encounter. The Mexicans are known for throwing batteries and bags of urine at US players and fans, something that shouldn’t surprise you at Death Valley either.

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